Last spring, Sam and I had to make the
decision on where to send Bram for the next nine impressionable years of his
life. The public school, which is
literally 4 minutes from our house; or the private school where we attend church,
know all the teachers, and where everyone feels like family. Oh, and happens to be 20 miles away. Needless to say, we opted for the additional
45-60 minutes onto our already hour-long commute to work. Nothing says family bonding like being stuck
in a car during rush hour traffic. Since
Sam and I work at the same place, we often carpool together. It makes the commute more bearable when you
have a passenger to talk – what? He’s
sleeping!? (Okay, I’ll admit that I
totally take advantage of the extra hour of sleep too, when Sam has to drive.)
Occasionally, we’ll have to drive
separately due to after-school or after-work activities. And it’s during these times, when it’s just
Bram in the car that questions start to emerge.
As he’s staring out the window, I’ll often wonder what he’s thinking
when he says something like this:
B: “Who do you think would win – a bear
or a lion?”
Me: “In what, Scrabble?”
To which I get a look that speaks
volumes.
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I know full well what he’s asking, but I wouldn't be doing my job as a parent if I didn't slightly annoy my child.
Adoption questions also come up, not only in the car, but also at the sitter’s. He thinks about the adoption a lot! What follows are actual statements and questions from the 6-year-old mind.
1. Can my baby brother or sister go to the same school as me? Please see my previously mentioned commute times. I’m certainly not going to add additional driving time going from one school to another, let alone different after-school activities that are 20 miles apart. This is a request I can easily accommodate. Done.
2. I don’t know what to name my baby brother or sister. That makes three of us. And there’s a 99.9% chance that he or she will have a name already. No, Spike is not an option (actual Bram suggestion).
3. I don’t think having a baby sister would be good because my daddy hurts Mama. Now hold on before you go calling the authorities. Thankfully, the woman who’s been watching Bram since he was 2 months old knows our family well. And anyone who has kids knows that statements like these usually require follow-up questions. His explanation went something like this: “Daddy tickles and wrestles Mama and she ends up getting hurt a lot. I think a brother would be better because he’ll be able to wrestle Dad, and I don’t want a baby sister to get hurt.” Aww, see, he actually had a very thoughtful reason for not wanting a little girl. Unfortunately, what he doesn’t realize is that I often feign injury when I see that I’m losing the match. I don’t think I’ve ever won. I’m a terrible wrestler.
4. If we adopt a sister, I don’t want her to grow up and paint my fingernails while I’m sleeping. Wait…what? What would make him think that she’d want to paint his fingernails? She’s apparently too fragile to wrestle, but she sure is a prankster. I’m almost tempted to paint his fingernails myself just to see his reaction.
5. Miss Jill, did you know that when I have a little sister you will have to babysit her? I hope you don’t become a bad babysitter. To which she asked if she was a bad babysitter now, and was reassured that she was one of the best. She followed up with, “What would make me a bad babysitter?” “If you punch my sister in the face. That’s what bad babysitters do.” Yikes!
Clearly, Bram has dubbed himself Sole Protector of Potential Little Sister. This is not a job to be entered into lightly. I don’t know what brought about this sudden sense of responsibility, considering a year ago he was strongly opposed to having a little sister, but it’s nice to know that she’ll have a big brother to look out for her. I can only hope he’ll feel the same way if we end up with a little boy.
