Home Study, Part 2

It’s been a few months since I've last posted and people are beginning to ask again how the adoption process is going.  In a word – slowly.  And it’s not due to any problems with our home study agency or our placing agency; it’s a matter of timing – birthdays, holidays, busy seasons and whatnot.  But now we’re back on track and getting things accomplished.

During the past few months, Sam and I have completed three of the four required interviews for our home study.  As you know, the first one wasn't nearly as catastrophic as I was envisioning it to be.  The other two interviews were as equally uneventful.  Stephanie, our case worker, met with me and Sam individually.  She asked questions about our childhood, our parenting styles, our values and beliefs, how we met, what is our reason for adopting, etc.  She even asked what we thought our spouse’s weakness was.  Sam’s response:  “Her arms.”  So yes, it’s also her chance to see what our personalities are like in a relaxed environment.  Thankfully, she’s as laid back as we are and also has a sense of humor.  Our goal is to complete our final interview during February and hopefully have the rough draft sent to our placing agency for review at the end of February. 

Meanwhile, Sam and I have to complete our 10 credit hours of online education and get CPR certified.  The online courses go over topics like learning to recognize signs of grieving and loss in your adopted child, especially one that may be older and has been adopted internationally; learning to recognize attachment disorder, which can be common in children that have been in many foster homes and haven’t learned the importance of attaching to a parent; what to expect when becoming a trans-racial family; and addressing medical issues for international adoption.  After reviewing each topic, we are tested online and given a certificate of completion, which will be included in our home study and our dossier packet.  We also have to be CPR certified, which will be a good review since the last time I went through CPR training was when I was in swimming lessons as a kid.

Sam and I went to get fingerprinted for our State and FBI background checks, and two out of the three of us have completed our physicals.  Ahem, Sam, anytime you want to get that done would be great.  So that’s where we’re at right now.  After we get our home study complete, the next step will be submitting an I-800 form, which will explained more in a future blog.

As always, you can ask us anything about the adoption process.  This is exciting for us, so we’re happy to talk about it!  And if you’re interested in contributing to our fund-raiser, please visit www.gofundme.com/schmitzfamily.  Any more updates, I’ll be sure to let you know!

Home Study, Part 1

Well, we've finally begun the home study.  Meeting One of Four took place last week.  We spent days preparing our house - organizing closets (which ended up turning into a repair job and setting us back a couple days), cleaning rooms, and getting rid of stuff we plain just didn't need.  I'm amazed at how much stuff can accumulate in just five years.  There was stuff we discovered we had moved with and still hadn't used.  Out it went!  It was quite liberating actually.  We even steam-cleaned carpets.  I was determined to give the illusion that we kept an immaculate house 24/7.  Afterall, 4-year-old boys are notorious for keeping their bedrooms clean.

Closet Catastrophe.  This is Sam's side of the closet.  I watched in horror as the whole thing came falling down on me.  See the row of holes in the wall?  That's where the rack should be.  See the stellar patch job next to the middle arm from the previous homeowners?  Their solution: wadded-up paper towel with wall putty over it.  Paper mâché is the new fad in home repair.

Fixing the previous homeowners' patch job correctly.  We had to cut out the drywall to the studs and  patch in new pieces of drywall.

The day of the home study arrived and I expected the worse - a humorless lady with a severe bun, high collar, horn-rimmed glasses, armed with white gloves and a clipboard.  I was upstairs when Stephanie (our social worker) arrived to find Sam vacuuming boxelder bugs off our front door.  Great, check one.  We're infested with bugs.  But to my relief, I heard laughter greet me as I came down the stairs.  This was not the prim and proper lady I envisioned.  Much to my delight, Stephanie was a normal, easy-going woman, wanting to help us pass our home study.

To be honest, it was far less painful than I let my mind imagine it would be.  The whole meeting took only an hour and a half.  We signed a lot of papers, received a lot of papers for reading, and still need to fill out and return a lot of papers.  She then took about a 5-minute tour of our house.  She didn't even go in the basement, and we spent a lot of time cleaning and organizing it!  The reason being, it's not technically a "living area" since it's an unfinished basement.  She also answered any questions we had.  I know in the past post I mentioned that one agency stated its first meetings typically took 4-5 hours, with subsequent meetings afterwards.  I've learned that every agency has its own approach for conducting home studies.  Thankfully, we went with one that was a little less taxing during the first meeting, and also recommended by our placing agency.

I've also learned that I was a little off on the cost of a home study, at least where one is not conducted by the placing agency.  (The placing agency is the agency that will coordinate with the adoption country and the adopting parents to place a child.)  Originally, I thought that a home study was around $1500.  Well, that's true if our placing agency, CHI, was conducting the study.  However, since CHI is located in St. Louis, MO, we have to have an Illinois agency do our home study...at the cost of $3900.  And the reason for the difference in cost is that the agency conducting the home study has to go through a lot more work to make sure our home study meets the standards of our adopting country and our placing agency's requirements.

Our next two meetings will be me and Sam individually.  Stephanie said we can duke it out as to who can go first.  Sam's already told me that he'll go first, and then not tell me anything she's asked, just to drive me crazy.  I'm looking forward to the months ahead as we complete our home study.  It just means that we are making progress on the very long road ahead of us.  I continually thank God for all the love and support from all of our family and friends.  You are all wonderful and we're blessed to have you in our lives.

Sam and I are always happy to discuss our process thus far and if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask.  If you're interested in helping in our fund-raising efforts, you can visit www.gofundme.com/schmitzfamily.  Thank you again for all of your support!

Application approved!

78 pages of instructions, specifications and forms.

Most of you know that we submitted our application to Children’s Hope International (CHI) and that our application was approved on July 24th!  I held off writing this blog update because I was anxiously awaiting our approval packet and adoption guide to arrive in the mail.  The application said it would take two weeks for approval, so I figured I’d give it at least two weeks to arrive.  Finally after 3 weeks and a week-long vacation later, it arrived!  Via email! 

After a brief exchange of emails, I discovered that it had been sent to me (turns out the day after we had been approved), but for whatever reason I didn’t receive it in my inbox.  Our adoption coordinator, Nichole (whom will be mentioned a lot throughout this entire several-year process), was kind enough to straighten things out.  And voila!  A 78-page PDF file later, we are back in business!

Our first step (according to page 2) is to complete our home study.  I’ve been asked about twenty times (fifteen from Sam alone) what happens at a home study and what does it include?  Good question; I’m still learning that myself.  From what I gather, the initial meeting is an in-home visit by the agency conducting the home study, interviewing the adoptive parents for about 4-5 hours.  K 

One of the pics we had to submit with our application.

Some of the information they are interested in would be our adoption expectations, reasons why we want to adopt, our attitude and experience regarding child rearing, personal characteristics, physical aspects of the home, and one I found particularly amusing, courtship and marriage history.  Courtship history??  Our social worker is going to get two completely different stories on this.  Can I scratch Sam’s testimony from the record?  I’m sure his version will be something along the lines of, “She stalked me.”  Mine will be, “He was completely clueless.”  But apparently we did something right as we’ll be celebrating our 10-year wedding anniversary this September.

I’ve only made it to page 17 so far of the Adoption Guide, but I’m amazed at the exacting specifications that are required by both CHI and ICBF (Colombian Institute of Family Welfare – I can only assume the acronym stands for something in Spanish).  For example, if something is stapled, Do NOT remove any staples.  Exact words.  They will not accept anything where a staple has been removed and then restapled.  They even tell you what size of paper to make photocopies on of certain documents so it can be notarized and/or apostilled.  Those seem pretty minor at the moment, but if you read what I’ve been reading…  I get a nervous twitch thinking that a stupid staple will be our undoing. 

I can understand where they are coming from though.  To say that the documentation is extensive would be an understatement; they want to make sure everything is in its place and that something doesn’t accidently get restapled to something else.  ICBF wants to ensure that their children are going to the most prepared and qualified families they can find.  The paperwork is meant to see that the children are safe and provided for and that all legal requirements are met in both countries.

Also with the home study comes our first fee installment.  The home study itself may cost around $1500 depending on the agency we use, along w/ other fees for documentation (like $890 for USCIS and fingerprinting!!).  We will also be submitting $1200 for the Adoption Agreement, basically stating we are ready and serious.  I would like to express a very heartfelt thank you to all who have donated to our adoption fund already!  You are truly amazing and you are helping bring Baby Schmitz home!

If you are interested in helping in our fund-raising efforts, please visit www.gofundme.com/schmitzfamily.   And please feel free to ask any questions you may have about the whole process; we’re pretty open about it!

Garage Sale Fundraiser

We are pleased to report that our garage sale to raise money for our adoption fund went well!  We had perfect weather and quite a bit of traffic.  We raised a total of $550!  Thank you to the many people that contributed to our sale, either by donating items or donating your time in helping with set-up or allowing us to borrow tables.  I was surprised at some of the items that were donated - china, speakers, various kitchen and cooking items, sports equipment, the list goes on!  Any remaining items we'll try to sell on Craig's List to raise additional money

Something else that surprised me, items that I thought no one would be interested in or would be a slow sell turned out being the first to go.  For example, my mom contributed a cartoonish-looking bee garden ornament with springy antennae, green wire wings and legs.  Admittedly, my brothers, dad and I were a little skeptical, chuckling that no one would want to buy the bee.  Of the items my parents donated, at 9:00 Friday morning, Mom's bee was the first item that sold. We all laughed in disbelief and Mom earned the right to walk around with her chest puffed out like a proud hen.  Never underestimate the power of a garage sale and a great price!

I would like to thank the people who helped us out in some form or fashion to make this garage sale a success - Mom and Dad Barmore, Tom Barmore, Dan Barmore, Mom Schmitz, Jim Schmitz and Christy Guyer, Rich and Maureen Milburn, Kevin and Jeanine Donnelly, Matt and Julia Markworth, Adam and Lisa Howard and Aziz Khoshaba at MAD City Media for donating the signs!  You all were a tremendous help - THANK YOU!

 My garage sale assistant, keeping a watchful eye out
when I had to run inside for  food or drink provisions.

If you're interested in donating to our fundraiser, please visit www.gofundme.com/schmitzfamily.

I'll take one baby, please. (Or, Adoption as explained by a 4-year-old)

Since coming to the decision to adopt, Sam and I have been telling Bram all about the fact that one day he'll have a little brother or sister.  We want him to be just as excited as we are, and also want him to warm up to the fact that there will be another child in the family.  Turns out, he's very excited and was telling our daycare lady all about how you adopt a child...





Bram:  I'm getting a baby brother!

Miss Jill:  Oh really?  And how do you know this?

Bram:  Mama and Daddy have to go buy a baby.

5-yr-old boy:  From where?

Bram:  From the store.  But first they have to go on a plane, and then buy a baby at the store.

5-yr-old boy:  Oh!  I know that store!  My mom goes there all the time!

Oh, if only it were that easy.  Our first step is to submit our application, plus $300 - the first of many fees.  Once we get approved, we can then begin the home study and obtaining all the necessary documents needed to prepare our dossier.

Since announcing our adoption plans, we've been blessed to see the tremendous amount of encouragement and support from our family and friends.  Everyone is getting excited for us and that seems to make everything more real, more tangible.  It's no longer just a far-off dream, but this is actually going to happen.  I can't thank you all enough!

I especially would like to thank the people who have contributed to our adoption fund so far!  You guys are AMAZING!  And a huge thank you to the people who have said they have items to donate to our rummage sale (as soon as I find out the date of the neighborhood-wide sale, we'll get moving on that).

As always, we welcome all the prayers and support you have to offer.  We are blessed to have you in our lives!

If you are interested in donating, please visit www.gofundme.com/schmitzfamily.

Schmitz Family Intro

Hi!  We’re the Schmitz Family.  For the tens of readers that may read this blog, you already know that.  But if by chance you’re a curious soul that was fortunate enough to stumble upon this blog, then allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Laurel.  My husband’s name is Sam.  Our son is Bram.  (Rhyming names were not intentional.)  We live in a small northwest suburb of Chicago – Island Lake.  It’s a fairly quiet suburb, not much happening.  We like it that way. 

Sam and I both work at Ball Horticultural Company, the largest North American breeder and distributor of bedding plants.  The second largest company globally.  Ever heard of Wave Petunias?  That’s us.  Black Velvet and Phantom Petunias?  Also us.  Gryphon Begonia?  Again, us.  We are fortunate to work at the corporate office in West Chicago where there is an eight-acre display garden to peruse whenever we feel so inclined.  Sam, however, does a lot less perusing and ambling, and much more scrutinizing.  He’s the Supervisor of Grounds, in charge of the gardens and the other remaining 43 acres of property and their general upkeep.  I work for one of Ball Hort’s companies, PanAmerican Seed, as an inventory planner.  The very condensed version of what I do is make sure that seed is packaged and available for our loyal customers. 

Sam and I met at the University of Illinois, where we both hold degrees in Ornamental Horticulture.  Sam’s emphasis was in plant pathology, mine was landscape design.  Sam also holds a Master’s degree in Turf Management.  We both had somewhat similar paths out of college where we worked for separate landscape contracting companies before eventually finding our way to Ball.

We have a wide array of interests and hobbies, which as a family include fishing, canoeing and camping.  When Sam isn’t playing Oblivion, or Dragon Age or whatever other computer games he happens to find captivating, he immerses himself in the pursuit of knowledge.  His nickname is Dr. Science.  If ever you have a question about anything, Sam is your go-to guy.  He also enjoys volleyball, whereas I tend to avoid it like the plague.  I’m not a fan of having my forearms bashed and slapped by a volleyball hurtling at my face every two minutes.  On the other hand, I’m a voracious reader and prefer to crochet, knit, tie flies for fly fishing, and make jewelry.  Bram is a very inquisitive young lad, and takes after his dad regarding personality.  They regularly scout the yard, overturning anything that can be overturned, looking for insects, salamanders and snakes.  His most favorite pastime, however, is wrestling with his dad. 

But telling you about our work and our hobbies isn’t what prompted me to start this blog.  Our story is a simple one and not unique by any means.  In fact, it’s shared by thousands of other couples and families around the world – blasted infertility.  Bram is proof that we overcame it once, but not without help from the wonderful people at FCI.  We always knew we wanted to have at least two kids, but Sam wanted to take the science aspect out of the mix for our second child, since we went that route already.  Enter adoption.

We’ve had our hearts and minds open to adoption for a long time, even before Bram was born.  But it’s been sitting on the backburner for some time now, and I really want to get the ball rolling.  The problem we face, like so many people wanting to adopt, are the staggering costs of wanting to bring a child home and love him or her unconditionally, like a child deserves.  There are so many children in the world that need loving families and a place to call home, but for many deserving couples and children, that dream never comes true.

Sam and I have decided that we’d like to adopt a child from Colombia.  Originally we had settled on China, simply for the fact that that was the easiest way to ensure we’d get a little girl.  But apparently everyone else has had that same idea, as the wait is now over 5 years.  We didn’t want to wait that long.  We briefly considered Ethiopia as that had the shortest wait of about two years.  But I felt myself being drawn toward Colombia.  The wait time is about four years, and I feel I can live with that.  During that time we can continue to gather monies to put toward bringing our child home.  For those that may be wondering how much it costs to adopt internationally, it can range from $23,000 to $27,000.  Some countries, even higher.  And yes, we've looked into domestic adoption, and that costs just as much.

Since making this decision to finally go through with adopting, after several years of just talking about it, I’m giddy with anticipation.  I’ve prayed to God for the strength, wisdom and support to see us through what I’m sure will be a roller coaster of emotions these next few years.  I’m confident He will see us through any obstacles that will come our way.

My hope for this blog is to share our story along the way, and if you feel moved to help support our endeavor, we welcome donations in ANY amount.  You can visit our fundraising page at www.gofundme.com/schmitzfamily.

We'll keep you posted and thanks for reading!